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April 29, 2012
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Claude sighed as he prepared his new master's lunch. Chicken salad, as she'd asked. Such a simple master. He smirked, unlike Alois, this one had a soul he craved. A stronger craving than he'd felt over Ciel's soul. He mixed the ingredients, mumbling about cobwebs and whatnot. The only thing about this master was… She was a little… Different.

"DAMMIT CLAUDE!" he groaned, hearing her stomp into the room. He turned to ask what she needed but instead was met with a napkin to the face.

"My la- I mean, (Name)," the butler corrected himself, picking the napkin she'd thrown at him that had fallen on the floor off of the floor. "Why did you throw this a- wait. Is that a- OHMYGOD DID YOU KILL A SPIDER!?" He fell to his knees, weeping over his fallen comrade that was now just a corpse in a napkin. "WHYYYYY!!???"

"YOU KNOW WHY! I WOULDN'T KILL YOUR FRIENDS IF THEY STAYED THE HELL OUT OF MY BEDROOM! KEEP THEM THE EFF OUT CLAUDE!" she shouted, flailing her arms as her butler wept.

"Oh, and I totally can hear you when you do your creepy spider web monologue. This is an apartment, you know. Walls are thin. And you aren't that quiet. It's creepy and it keeps me up at night. NOW QUIT YO' CRYING AND MAKE ME A SAMMICH WOMAN!" she huffed and stormed from the room, leaving him to wonder why she'd called him a woman. He would ask after he made a memorial to yet another of the spiders she'd killed.
:iconclaudesbabiesplz:

ಠ_ಠ

Seriously Claude. Keep them out of my room. Or I will kill them.

Okay, so let me explain this craziness. Well, you see, it all started when I was totes about to re-watch Kuroshitsuji II, looked down at my feet and saw a spider as big as my thumb. I spazzed, and smashed it with my lotion bottle.

Then I looked up and saw my Claude poster and he was like staring daggers at me and I was like "Claude would not approve" and felt sorry for the icky soulless creature (the spider, not the demon). Then I totally had to write something about this because this would more than likely what would happen if I had a contract with him.

Other than sex. Lots and lots of sex. But that's another lemon for another time.

Seriously though. Me before Claude Faustus: HOLY SHIZZNIPPLES IT'S A SPIDER KILL IT WITH FIRE!!! :iconikillitplz: (even if it's outside)

After Claude FAUWSTUSSS //bricked//: Well, I won't kill it, because it's outside. If it's inside I will kill it. Then feel bad about it later.

:heart:Megmeg
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:iconcielphantomhivesgirl:
cielphantomhivesgirl Apr 14, 2014  Student General Artist
XD *shivers* i can't stand spiders (most bugs really ^_^") it takes all my strength not to kill them when i see them outside *sweatdrop* sorry claude... ^_~"
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:iconmaskedartistmanga:
Maskedartistmanga Apr 13, 2014  New member Hobbyist Filmographer
the same happened to me during p.e. in school. a tiny baby spider crawled to me and I flipped out and murdered it then my friend whom goes by Sebastian walked by and both of us started laughing abut a human killing Claud when he tries to make a contract lol
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:iconwolfacatia:
WolfAcatia Mar 22, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
Oh, my god!! I'm totally like that!!!
This is awesome by the way.
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:iconbecomeonewithrussia1:
becomeonewithrussia1 Mar 15, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
Is it sad that i have a fangirl crush on claude but i also have an inhuman fear of spiders?
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:iconcanadianpolarbears:
CanadianPolarBears Mar 9, 2014  New member Hobbyist General Artist
LOLOLOLOL MAKE ME A SANDWICH WOMAN LOLOLOL HAD TO CONTAIN THE LAUGINGLlama Emoji-65 (Blood Tears...) [V3] 
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:iconotaku--chuu:
Otaku--Chuu Feb 23, 2014  New member Hobbyist Digital Artist
That's... Kinda what I would, do and say. I call every boy I know woman. 
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:iconterraareli:
TerraAreli Feb 19, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
i don't like to kill things and feel furious when people kill things that aren't doing any harm and if they have no REAL reason to. 
But i am apprehensive about the lil' crawlers >->
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:iconyumeriku:
lol that was awesome!
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:iconspainloves:
spainloves Feb 7, 2014  Student Digital Artist
Oh no spider im so very sorry that i killed you :<
Reply
:iconamirakurosaki:
AmiraKurosaki Feb 4, 2014  Student Photographer
OMG I LAUGHED MY FREAKING ASS OFF XDD ROFLLL
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